Valentines Day

I don't feel as funny as I wanted today. Yesterday I went to the funeral for one of my dearest friends. Then I stabbed myself in the hand with a screwdriver and it kind of hurts to type. But I promised something lighthearted today and I'm going to deliver if I have to stab myself with another stupid sharp object.

I discovered a few years ago that men and women don't think alike. You can imagine my surprise when the Nobel prize for Social Insight did not appear at my doorstep the following day. My genius is often overlooked.

Probably the worst argument Beaven and I ever had was over Valentines Day. It seemed to me that EVERY woman in the bank where I worked received flowers that year. Except me. When I got home I let him have it with both barrels. The argument closed with my final shot that "if you'd just send me the damned flowers I'D shut up." How romantic of me.

A few days later the flowers showed up. By now most of my friends at work had forgotten about Valentines Day and couldn't figured our why I got flowers. They asked if we had had an argument or if it was an anniversary or birthday. "What are the flowers for?" Sheepishly, I had to admit "They're for being a bitch."

True to my word, I haven't made an issue out of flowers since. And I don't think I've gotten any more since.

He did score mightily a couple of years ago when he showed up with a brand new red Vespa motorscooter on Valentines Day. Complete with a bunch of red helium balloons. However, I doubt he designed this as a Valentines gift. It wasn't until the sales clerk brought out the red balloons that he realized what day it was.

But I took the balloons and the scooter. I have learned to accept other gestures of love as his equivalent of flowers. Just the other day he backed up all the data on my laptop. What a loving gesture! We are one of very few couples I know who have "His and Hers" chainsaws because I complained it was too hard to use the big one.

You just have to take the romance where you find it, girls.

Now I think I'll go for a ride in the Vespa. Maybe I'll do something really stupid that's good for a laugh next week.