My Boring Life

There is absolutely nothing of interest to report today. We haven’t done anything remotely interesting unless you count catching a mouse in a mousetrap behind the washing machine.

I found out wood will catch fire if you leave it in the microwave long enough. I was trying to dry out some wood from a tree we cut down so I could work with it. I used to do this all the time with wood I turned on the lathe. Green wood is easier to turn but you have to dry it out afterwards or it will warp. It’s really pretty easy to do. You wrap the wood up in paper towels which absorbs the steam as the wood heats up. When one paper towel gets wet you throw it away and use a new dry one. Eventually you can dry out the wood this way. I thought I was drying it at the same level of power and for the same time as before. But, danged if the stuff started smoking and I had to take it outside. Now I wish I had used hickory because elm doesn’t smell nearly as good.

I went into Dallas Saturday morning to help feed the homeless breakfast. That’s always an eye-opener. A few minutes after they opened the doors and the room filled to capacity they had a prayer then announcements. I was a little startled to hear them spend a lot of time describing the weather forecast then had one of those ‘duh’ moments to realize how important the weather is to homeless folks. Then they talked a little about some job openings. I didn’t hear it all but there was one job that you couldn’t have a felony conviction within the last 10 years. It’s a whole different world out there. Then, about half-way through the meal I realized my best friend in high school might come through the line at any minute. She’s been schizophrenic most of the last 40 years and homeless. I lost track of her about five years ago. I didn’t spot her and now wonder if she’s even still alive. Being homeless gives you a shorter lifespan. That’s another topic for another day.

Boy, what a downer. I’ve had so many serious topics lately I really want to leave you laughing today.

Our neighbors across the field where they raise horses are digging a well. They finally sold their house in town and are going to build out here. We’re all so spread out here in paradise that they’ve been drilling this well for two days before we heard it. There’s a pretty dense woods between us is probably why we didn’t hear anything. That’s the woods that everyone was so worried about the time I caught the place on fire twice in one day. Yeah, those neighbors.

I thought maybe I could come up with something interesting by listening to the public service radio Beaven has on all the time. It gets all the fire departments, police and utility radio. Most of what we hear is checking on drivers’ records for speeding tickets. Once in a while you’ll hear a report back on a person who’s had so many violations on their record you have to wonder how they’ve stayed out of jail this long. But a lot of time it’s a police call to go check on a cow that’s gotten out of their pasture. Except sometimes the police can’t figure out which pasture to take the cow back to. It’s hard to visualize when you’re just listening to the radio. But I can tell from their voice that they don’t enjoy herding cows when they would rather be shooting criminals.

God, even that’s boring.

Oh, wait! Did I tell you about the time I bored a friend to death? Actually, that one’s not funny either. Never mind.

OK, I found one that might be fun to read. I wrote about Waving a few years back. If you’re new to this blog you probably haven’t read it. Go to the archives to February 8, 2006 and read about the time I spent waving at cars with the Statue of Liberty.

And I will try desperately to find something funny to write about next week.