Here is a a blog I first posted in 2011 and I thought I would update it for 2023.
The reason I need to update it is because 12 years have passed yet very little has little has changed and I take that as a good sign and I want to thank God for a few things.
Three days ago, on November 12th, we attended another wedding much like the one I mention here. Again, it was a wedding of two kids we feel really good about: I knew the bride years ago as a counselor at Camp Gilmont where she has now returned to be the Program Director, Beaven works with the groom at camp on the staff. So both of us know both bride and groom. I like these kinds of weddings. I'm starting to think November is a good month to get married.
Yesterday we had a great dinner at our favorite restaurant but instead of an evening meal we had one of those mid-day meals old people have at around 3:30 or 4 o'clock. It's a small place where the owner knows us and will stop by to talk. He makes the Creme Brulee' himself and if we go early enough I can have coffee with dessert and it won't keep me awake. We have officially gotten old.
Just to give you a flavor of how time has passed here's what I wrote 11 years ago about our anniversary. It's kind of interesting to rummage through our little time capsule once in a while.
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Forty-three years ago I married a man I thought was a dead ringer for Superman, albeit a shorter version of him. Last night I ate dinner with a balding, overweight version of that guy and we spent most of the meal talking about how all the people at our wedding are dead now.
The best man died ten years ago. My bridesmaid became schizophrenic and the maid of honor became a Tea Party Republican. All of the uncles and most of our aunts are gone as well as a good chunk of the guests. About the only ones left from our wedding are the younger cousins and one or two friends.
We spent most of our day apart yesterday and met for dinner at our favorite restaurant in separate cars. We left the restaurant and went to see a movie at the only theatre in town where the popcorn was better than the movie then came home and argued about what we would watch on TV.
In years since I first met Beaven Els we’ve watched about four or five wars play out, depending on what you call a war. As we matured our politics have done an about-turn. We watched the first man step on the moon together. On November 15, 1969 personal computers didn’t exist and you could walk right onto a commercial plane with no questions asked.
We raised two decent kids and weathered alcoholism, cancer and menopause together. We’ve buried four parents and taken some awesome vacations. We’ve accomplished things we never even thought to dream of and we’ve visited countries we never thought we would find exciting. We’ve remodeled houses with our own hands and learned that we don’t know a damned thing about carpentry but we keep doing it ourselves anyway. About the only technique we’ve really mastered is running wires through walls.
We survived two teenagers and they survived us and we will eat Thanksgiving together without much dread.
I vividly remember my thoughts as we left on our honeymoon: “I know nothing about this guy.” And, compared to what I know now, I didn’t. We quite frankly lucked out. Probably the greatest thing we’ve learned in 42 years of marriage is to have patience and to endure.
This coming Saturday we’ll attend the wedding of a girl we watched grow up in our church. She’s marrying a guy she met on a mission trip who reminds me a lot of a younger Beaven. Forty-two years from now most of the guests at this week's wedding, including Beaven and I, will assuredly be gone. Things Elizabeth and John have never dreamed of will have been invented. They will go places and do things they can’t imagine now.
Life always surprises us. Here’s to Happy Surprises. Here’s to Patience and Endurance. The future is uncertain at its very best but it is never boring. He may not look much like Superman to other people but he still does to me.
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What do I thank God for in 2023? For sticking with us when we were busy raising kids and didn't put much thought into our relationship with our Creator. I thank God for it all, every last minute of it, every single iota from each cloud and ray of sunshine, each smile on my daughters' faces, each tiny victory in our lives, each tiny step in the right direction, for holding my hand when things got overwhelming, for those bursts of inspiration and confidence when it all seemed so improbable.
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